Love is a wonderful feeling.
But when it comes to your romantic love and your BFF, it’s scary because it could potentially destroy one of the most important things in the world to you.
If you’ve recently discovered such feelings, try to take deep breaths.
And think carefully before proceeding.
Here are a few things to consider before you broach the subject with your best friend:
1. He may think the same way
The best possible result here is that your best friend feels the same way about you and you can start your passionate happy-ever-after right away.
If so, congratulations and all the best to you!
However, remember that if you’re just in love with your boyfriend or looking for a little fun, it’s not fair to share a few feelings that will only result in him getting hurt.
Make sure you’re really in love before you do anything about it.
2. He may not feel that way
Unfortunately, falling in love with your best friend doesn’t guarantee that they feel the same way.
There is a good chance that you are friends because friendship is all he feels towards you.
While this may be uncomfortable, it’s important to take this into account from the start.
How do you feel about this possibility? Can you still be friends if he doesn’t want anything anymore? Can’t you tell him how you feel knowing he’s not interested?
Sometimes just knowing that someone doesn’t share your feelings isn’t enough to quell them.
You may need to step away from the relationship for a while to sort things out…which may require telling him how you’re feeling.
After that, it’s possible, within reasonable limits, for you to go back to how things were. But …
3. Your relationship may never be the same
Of course, regardless of whether he reciprocates your feelings, there’s a chance your relationship will never be the same again.
Especially when you tell him you love him hoping he reciprocates the feelings, only to find out you were wrong.
If he’s a cool guy, his good attitude and naturally sweet personality will help you both get over what probably made him such a good friend in the first place.
But there’s always a chance that telling him how you feel could lead to a friendship that changes for life.
4. Consider your current circumstances
One of the most common problems in realizing that you are in love with your best friend is timing.
You’re both adults, so there’s a good chance at least one of you is in a relationship, possibly both.
On your end, it’s less of a big deal because you can cancel things if you want.
You have less control on his side.
Before you embark on a chaotic display of emotion, wait for your boyfriend to end things naturally with his current lady.
If he’s taking the relationship lightly, you might want to intervene sooner, but be careful.
Even if your friend plans to break it off, it could still be the wrong time in their life in the long run.
You can always ask him what he’s looking for by talking to him about his current flame like any good friend would.
5. Consider asking a mutual friend for a favor
If you’re having a hard time finding out about your husband, ask a mutual friend to do some enlightenment.
This is a good way to find out how he feels without showing your hand, assuming you can trust that particular friend and he’s comfortable with it.
6. Consider raising the issue in a roundabout way
If your best friend is single and you think you might have a chance with them, it’s time to test the water.
Bring up the topic of romance at a time when both of you are relaxed.
Note that while alcohol can help strengthen your nerves, it’s not the best idea if you want to keep your wits about you.
You want to be in control of when you reveal the fact that you’re in love with your best friend, and with alcohol, that can result in that coming out sooner than you’d like.
Instead, choose a relaxed setting like a coffee shop or arcade.
When you’re both having fun and can focus your attention on something else (games, latte, people-watching), the pressure is relieved.
That in turn means you have a better chance of getting away naturally rather than giving yourself away.
The same logic applies if you’re trying to build sexual tension with him.
When the timing is right, casually bring up relationships and see what your friend has to say.
Does he seem to want one? Can he imagine falling in love with someone who is already close to him?
Would he ever… date a friend?
If you get the right answers, chances are your friend already knows where this is going and wants the same thing as you.
However, if he seems uncomfortable, noncommittal, or disinterested, it’s probably time to move on to greener pastures.
